In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Topics. Thank you! Pictures. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! if(cookiePair[0] === name) { Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. "Men are from Earth,. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. They own you. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. its only a symbol. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. > Quotable Quote. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Born: May 12, 1937. What exactly is viewer discretion? Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. } George Carlin. What do you say? A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. It's a big club and you ain't in it. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh often, long and loud. This is what we have to offer. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. Save the planet! 3140. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. You have no choice. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); var url; init: function() { gads.src = (useSSL ? (function() { When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? October 29, 2004. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. } George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Manage Settings Lists. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. [.] session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, Dont look for it. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. How is it possible to have a civil war?George Carlin, When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Your email address will not be published. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } In America, anyone can become president. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). a[a9] = { But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); try { Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. "https:" : "http:") + Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? He was an American standup comedian. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. #privileges. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Ever. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Theres a humorous side to every situation. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. }; I mean, life is tough. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. You and I are not in the big club. apstag.init({ There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. //. Deal with it. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. googletag.cmd.push(function() { Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Did you enjoy this article? This made him outstanding. All rights reserved. Save the planet? If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! Theres a humorous side to every situation. I think that speaks for itself. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. The challenge is to find it. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. [CDATA[ Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? q("f", arguments) Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); They own everything. for(var i=0; i The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.